Job Interviews - What You Don’t Do Can HELP You!
I just love job performance evaluations. Where else can you say things like
“Since my last evaluation, this employee has hit bottom and started to dig.”
“His team would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
“This employee would be out of her depth in a parking lot puddle.”
“She works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
Luckily, none of these statements were made BY or ABOUT me, but I’ve often wondered why those employees were hired in the first place. Was there no clue to their cluelessness BEFORE they were hired – like during the job interview?
I’ve been on many job interviews, on both sides of the desk. I’d like to offer a few tips on how to weather the interview storm.
First, the job-seeker’s tips:
DO NOT arrive late for the interview. If you blow through the door ten minutes late, you might as well not show up at all, because you’re not getting the job. Admit that you’ve just had the job search equivalent of a bad hair day and move on, because you won’t get the job.
DO NOT bring your breakfast or your lunch with you to a job interview! Stash the egg McMuffin or the chicken Caesar wrap in your briefcase, if you must, but flinging crumbs on the boss’s desk during the interview means you won’t get the job.
DO NOT wear an IPod to an interview and tell the interviewer you can hear her and the music at the same time. I swear to you I saw this done and I still wonder what on earth that IPod wearing fool was thinking. He didn’t get the job.
DO NOT doze off during the interview. Believe it or not, this will NOT create a positive view of your potential job performance. You won’t get the job.
DO NOT ask, during the interview, “What is it that you people do at this company?” This is something you might want to find out BEFORE arriving for an interview. If you choose to ignore this advice you won’t get the job.
DO NOT ask the interviewer if the company’s relocation policy covers moving your horse. It doesn’t, and asking the question makes you look like the part of your horse that’s furthest from its head. And you won’t get the job.
DO NOT offer to have the company logo tattooed somewhere on your body. Trust me, this isn’t a demonstration of loyalty – it’s CREEPY. And you won’t get the job.
DO NOT, no matter how tense you get during the interview, CALL YOUR THERAPIST for advice during the interview. The interviewer already knows that the company is full-up on crazy – they don’t need you to increase their crazy quotient. You won’t get the job.
DO NOT ask if the company has a policy regarding concealed weapons. Trust me, they do – and it’s a resounding NO GUNS, unless you work in law-enforcement. You’ll know this by the way the interviewer starts backing away from you after you ask the question. And you won’t get the job.
Now, to the employer side:
DO NOT ask the applicant, during the interview, what their gender is. If it isn’t obvious, just use their first name instead of Mr. or Ms. Whatever. Trust me - this might be the high-entertainment portion of your day – and do you really need that lawsuit?
DO NOT ask the applicant what their race or nationality is – it’s not legal, and do you really need that lawsuit?
DO NOT ask the applicant if they have a chronic medical condition, or a disability. You can ask about the total number of absences they had in the previous year, but not the number of sick days. If they arrive feverish and sweating for the interview, you can politely ask them if they’re OK, and avoid shaking hands with them, but that’s it. Do you really need that lawsuit?
DO NOT ask the applicant if they have a history of drug abuse. If they appear to be on drugs DURING the interview, you can use a drug test program to determine the applicant’s drug use status, but you can’t ask about past history. Do you really need that lawsuit?
DO NOT ask an applicant if they’ve ever been arrested. Prison tattoos on the forehead are a clue here. You can check their conviction record as part of a background check, but you can’t ask about ARRESTS. Do you really need that lawsuit?
It’s important for both sides of the interview to be prepared. The applicant should arrive on time or early with a clear understanding of the company, and the job in question. Grooming and personal habits will be under a microscope – look your best. Ask and answer questions as if your getting hired depends on it – because it does!
For the interviewer, remember that this is a real live person sitting across from you, not a resumé. Be cordial, put the applicant at ease – you’ll both get more out of the interview, even if you end up hiring someone else for the job. This applicant could end up being fantastic word-of-mouth for your company if she walks away feeling respected.
For the job-hunter – it’s not the size of your resume, it’s how you represent it in person that matters.
And for the boss – it’s not the size of your desk, it’s how you communicate across it that counts.
Casey Quinlan has spent over two decades in the news business, working stories for the major networks in the US and around the world. She recently hung out her shingle as a PR and media relations consultant, targeting technology companies making the innovations that change the world. Visit Mighty Casey Media on the web at http://www.mightycasey.com
Tags: interview skills, job interview, job search